Friday, August 26, 2011 8:23 PM
It's all in my mind.
... And all that optimism from the post during ROD is gone.
Back to worrying, worrying how we will survive the test of time and distance.
Ironic, that I should come to think of this during squad lunch...
The atmosphere.
The feeling that some are tired of this, but are just too polite to express their disappointment.
Is it because the novelty of seeing each other is fading?
Honestly, I don't know.
What can I do? Stick around, I guess. Stick around, and watch, hope...
Hope that I am paranoid.
which may be the case. Definitely may be the case.
-
Your comment was wholly valid. After all, my posts usually are about NP. Now that the badge is destined never to be on my collar again, I am at a loss as to what to write.
About life?
... No, more... emotions I think. Thoughts that cross.
And since NP is the main contributor to that, I really, really don't know.
In due time, there might just be nothing to read here.
Perhaps. Just... perhaps.
-
I wonder what the spectator would see if they watched our discussion in the air conditioned class.
One overall in charge. He who keeps up the smile on his face.
One close by, whose eyes meet only the person above and below when he speaks.
One whose face barely has a flicker of a smile. To me, I'd say stressed.
And me. Whose way of speaking may be quite antagonistic to the vast majority.
Plus the other five, two silent throughout, three who do speak-
though mainly when they are bid to.
Besides that observation?
Three different ICs. Two who took the same squad, but of different batches.
I wonder how that would feel...
(My apologies, my train of thought is messed up. If you don't see where I'm going with this... well, neither can I. ._.)
-
It feels so lonely, sometimes.
What can you do, say, when you would like to see your cadets after ROD?
Drag your squadmates along to watch over them from upstairs?
But squadmates, dear as they are, they may not see any logic behind attachments to the cadets.
I think so, because I ever once felt this way before.
And would it be fair to show that your heart is no longer wholly on them, but shared with some whom you'd known only several months?
It wouldn't be fair to the new ICs either, would it? The longer your presence exists in their conscious mind, the slower they will love their new ICs.
*shrug*
The fate of only watching from afar, and limited to the satisfaction of seeing them acknowledge you...
^^
Labels: Hotshots♥ /RVNP