All the words I thought and the will I summoned before come back to serve as ghouls tearing at the edge of stability
They look so big that everything else just makes way.
Things that should be unshakeable become in doubt and in question.
Things that are so obvious become so threatened in my mind.
And realisation that it is irrational and stupid do nothing to snap me out of it
Dragging me further down the surface
And I pull yet deeper into myself.
Friday, April 22, 2016 1:05 AM
It's all in my mind.
Really thoroughly enjoyed Zootopia, and am itching to sit myself down to properly think of the themes and some specific scenes.
Loved the speech Judy made when it all fell apart though- in a very strange manner once again, when Wayne's favourite scene was of the sloths where he laughed so hard.
He realised he loved this song much earlier than I did- but by the closing credits, I realised how nice the lyrics really are.
So apt it is! Especially given the conversation we had prior to the movie.
Thursday, April 14, 2016 6:49 PM
It's all in my mind.
What a racket it makes
When our disalignments meet.
The Earth-shattering sounds
Ring merely in the confines of my mind
Soon forgotten
Amidst warmth and laughter true
But while the fear lies low
It bides merely time to rewaken.
The recurrent theme
Is "scared".
Monday, April 11, 2016 4:02 PM
It's all in my mind.
Only scars and attention that restrain me.
Sunday, April 10, 2016 12:32 PM
It's all in my mind.
It's kind of interesting how little human interaction I require to start thinking that I'm tired of people.
That I'm tired of myself, tired of waking up every day...
Tired of attempting to use my mind yet tired of knowing I'm not.
Tired of tapping onto my mind and drawing a blank. Tired of expecting emotions and feeling none. Tired of wanting to take action and yet not doing the bare minimum.
As a child, the idea of Medusa was scary.
I wonder why it should have been in the first place.
I turn myself to stone with the passing of time.
Friday, April 1, 2016 11:35 AM
It's all in my mind.
Wow. Usually no one bothers to climb a bit of stairs to come check on me, but TJ did.
When he asked if I really was okay, there was a tiny clench somewhere. If I had been less stable I would have teared up in response to his open, warm expression.
Touched to have someone like TJ who will check in, even in such a small manner.
That would make kai and TJ, for this staircase. Brief, but appreciated regardless.
11:26 AM
It's all in my mind.
Sick of my endless failings, but too tired to care anymore.
I'm burning time, youth and money. It doesn't do anything for making me feel better.
~ Profile ~
Tan Jing Yee
River Valley High School
RVNP HotShots! (sec1'08) Shuqun Primary School
28 July
~ some quotes ~
♥ But I think... I want to live with all my memories. Even if they're bad memories. Even if they're memories that only hurt me... that I'd rather forget. If I keep them and keep trying, without running away, then someday I'll be strong enough that those memories can't defeat me. I believe that because I want to think that there's no such thing as a memory that's ok to forget.
♥ Pain, suffering. It's pointless to just think about those things. The traveler (referring to "The Most Foolish Traveler" by Natsuki Takaya) didn't. That may be stupid to some people but that's not stupid to me. Yuki... Kyo... when you close your eyes, what do you think?
♥ Just as no matter how hard you try to keep it away... despair will attack you again and again. In the same manner hope will return to you. Again and again.
♥ Someday... no matter how cold it is now... the snow will melt. Without fail.
♥ For there to be pain, there has to be kindness. For darkness to stand out, there has to be the sun.
♥ Maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe I have a long way to go. But someday... someday I'll be able to stand and walk on my own. Without hurting anyone... and without being a burden.
♥ We're all born with selfish desires so we can relate to those feelings in others. But kindness is created individually by each person... So it's easy to misunderstand when someone is trying to be kind to you... But, Tohru, people's differences are something to celebrate.
♥ "And if when everything ends, nothing is left in my hands...that's alright."
♥ Mingling with people, hurting them, getting hurt by them. That's how you learn about people and about yourself. If you don't, you'll never care about anyone but yourself.
♥ I want to be the only one... who can help the one I care about.
♥ "I wish I could have lived... In a kind world. Without anxiety. Without fear. Without hurting other people. Without being hurt myself. Only doing the right things. I wish I could have followed... The shortest path... To the kind world I wish for.
I wish... I could have lived my life... Without making any wrong turns. But that is impossible. A path like that doesn't exist. We fail. We trip. We get lost. We make mistakes. And little by little, one step at a time... we push forward. It's all we can do. On our own two feet. Even if we get a little banged up. Someday, we'll reach something. We'll reach someone. We pray."
♥ "Crowds used to make me wonder. How many people would notice if I disappeared? I used to mull over that kind of thing constantly... once upon a time. But now... I'm a little different. It's not like that. It doesn't have to be... A lot of people. Even if it's just one person. That's enough. Having one person... is an incredible thing. Because then... It can't be zero. I was happy. I was happy then, too. I was so happy, it tickled. In the midst of all those people... She singled me out... and found me. And it's the same thing now. Having someone other than yourself... thinking of you. Looking... for you. You can't take that for granted. It's a miraculous and blessed thing."
♥ "... please don't cry anymore. I know that happy things... and fun things.. eventually come to an end. But things that are scary and sad... come to an end too. They always do. Even if you can't always believe that... please don't give up. Live. I want you to live. Even if you make a mistake, even if you take the long way, it's still okay... Just please... please live. Don't give up on pushing forward. Please. At least don't give up on that. Even if I'm not... by your side."
♥ Often times in memory, we have the tendency to overly romanticize the people we care about.
♥ Humans may be fragile creatures, but they're not weak to the extent to being crushed by their painful memories even after they meet with something unfortunate. We're far more resilient that that. Everything will be alright.
♥ "Don't worry, Kanade. What a person has actually gone through is unexpectedly different from what he remembers. Even though that gap may leave him feeling sad sometimes... Even the most vivdly clear memory... will change with time eventually."
♥ "Humans are amazing. Even though they may not see something physically... They'll still sense it. Everything else is the same. If you work hard, others will know that you work hard. If you don't work hard, others will know that you don't work hard."
♥ "Someday... You'll find someone who'll know all your good and bad points... And who'll still love you all the same."
♥ If... There was ever a Land of the Blindfolded, will the people of that land... Understand what it's like to have your blindfold come undone? Even if... Most people will never understand us... There might just be... Someone who can do that. It isn't easy to understand people's feelings... But that doesn't mean... That you're alone.
♥ It is not violence that best overcomes hate — nor vengeance that most certainly heals injury.
♥ The real courage is living and suffering for what you believe.
♥ “If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
♥ Do not pity the dead, Harry, pity the living. Above all pity those who live without love.