Tuesday, March 8, 2011 10:24 PM
It's all in my mind.
Our differing views and styles can very well be ingredients for failure. To those who recognised that I looked sort of emo today... ^^
Correct. One point for each of you. ^^
I don't know you well enough. I'm sorry that I keep doing that.
I quote you to the cadets. All the time. Such that it gets annoying.
You tell me for the first time...
Well, I didn't know that that was opinion shared to me, not supposed to be with the sec 1s.
But can you blame me?
In my perspective, you are just refusing to speak, as usual.
Like during debrief, like during act, like how you rarely give commands during drill. Like how you comment, but let me voice out instead.
I'm sorry, it obviously pissed you off for that moment.
But in my perspective, do you see?...
... our coordination is failed.
Screwed, basically.
We don't freely say what we think. After all, we consider that there may be conflicting opinions. What may be puke inducing on my part may be not that serious to you. What may be commendable in my eyes you may feel a great room for improvement.
In the end? We just keep discussing. We don't come to a consensus.
.. with regard to our own squad too.
Hotshots.
Differing opinions.
I may not like it at all. But for me, squadmates are an exception.
And, how do I open my mouth to say it?
I don't know how.
Strict as I am with the cadets, I just don't judge my squadmates similarly.
I know I don't like it.
But I overlook it.I may want to scream with incredulity, bang my head in exasperation,
but in the end, I will take it as it is.
It's their style.
I can't stop them, I can't change them.
I just purse my lips and make sure any dissatisfaction vanishes.
It does, actually.
But you don't like it, do you?
^^
As DM, I don't always approve of it either.
But what can I say?
I grow too soft to my squadmates.
I just don't want ties to sour.
I will live with it.
But I see your point.
I don't want to be in this tug of war with my consciousness.
Both sides are important.
Squadmates on both sides.
... what do I do? ^^
Stop allowing me to have my way because you fear that I don't like it.
"Jared ate anything he was offered; it seemed as if he'd given up favourites many years before, embracing a life where wants are unwelcome and even needs were carefully assessed before they were met."
Can I use this quote to say that I will take everything that comes- even if I disapprove, so what?
I will swallow it whole.
Unless it is something I viciously oppose (ref. last post), I will just give opinions.
Stop following my opinion just because I impose the idea repeatedly on you.
Stop following my opinion because you are worried I won't like it otherwise.
Stop following my opinion because you fear me.
Stop it. It makes me feel even worse.
Even if I disapprove, so what?
Even if I sulk and purse my lips, so what?
Decisions shouldn't revolve around me just because I reached the fear factor.
If you have an opinion, say it.
If I am doing wrong, tell me.
If you disagree, speak up.
Don't make me guess- I guess wrongly.
Stop giving me surprises that I will take too hardly.
Tell me upfront.
Fellow squad ICs. Squadmates.
Please.
Labels: Deep Emotions, Hotshots♥ /RVNP