I shouldn't be wrong in suggesting that movies that sit well with a Singaporean audience tends to be the ones that reflect the Singaporean life. Jack Neo's We Not Naughty （孩子不坏）reflected some very extreme emotions and relationships- its drama was used to throw in the audience's face the issues it wanted to raise. Ah Boys To Men I was less appreciative of, but it necessarily engaged the notion of NS, something that just about everyone could relate to- at some level.

For all I'd heard about Ilo Ilo （爸妈不在家）, the movie was somewhat of a letdown. I know I was restless during much of the movie- I credit it to how the emotions were controlled by the characters, and how everything that was an issue was only hinted at. Not dramatizing much resulted in the movie being a realistic portrayal, making it a good piece when you want to engage the ideas... Less if you want to be entertained.

Spoilers ahead.

How shall I start?

"Treatment of maids in Singapore"- those words had immediately brought to mind the maid abuses reported in the news. In a way, this movie was much more and much less than that.
Less, because it did not address that... at all.
More, because the decision not to may have been sparked off from the interpretation of those cases as anomalies... or because they wanted to give a different maid-family relationship, something that would draw understanding and empathy without degrading the movie to merely another pity-monger.

What comes to mind first when the word "maid" comes to mind?
Jiale's revolt against having someone share his room is but the microcosm of society. Someone foreign. A stranger- who comes into your life and interferes with the previous routine.
Why should he share his room with her- why should people share their life with their maid?
Jiale reacted to Terry's presence with vehemence, interfering with her ability to integrate into the household.
That extent of sabotage would break the faith of people with less steel... something undoubtedly happens around the island.

But the reason why the movie continued was precisely because there was an emotional exchange- forget the fact that it was negative.
Can you imagine the fate for domestic workers who have to deal with apathy instead? To change apathy- that may be even more demoralising for people who try.

I like it that the perspective towards maids was always ambivalent. The dynamics of that trio towards Terry was good.
The father was the constant, being the good guy.

At the beginning, when Jiale rejected outright Terry's presence in the household or her newfound power over him, the ward... The father opposed it. The mother opposed it. But the mother herself demonstrated implicitly distrust towards Terry nonetheless.
The allocation of a plastic cup since it "won't break'.
The "safekeeping" of Terry's passport- when in fact it was done so that she couldn't suddenly run away.

When Jiale changed to like Terry, it was clearly obvious that Terry's role had evolved from "domestic worker" to a friend or substitute mother. No wonder perhaps that the real mother would be jealous and try to reclaim and reassert her position.
And yet it was in the undercurrents, enough to be felt but not enough to be considered an offence.
The willingness of the group to have Terry eat separately- balanced with the father's apology, which was countered by his wife finding it unnecessary.
That scene did not tell us that it was wrong to let maids eat apart, outside. It was a prevalent view in society.
That scene did not say that maids should necessarily take their place as equals.
The interaction left the audience to decide for themselves.

I like how Terry was characterised.

She is understandably the mouthpiece for the rest of her lot- showing us the background and other side, that most would perhaps neglect to look into.
How many people are attuned to thinking of them as merely employed workers? They have a family they had to leave- that was clearly portrayed. And sometimes the emotional sacrifices were extensive.
Moonlighting- not because there wasn't enough money, but because she really wanted to support the family back home. Moreover, what they are moonlighting as probably wasn't as bad as some families imagine it to be.
I'm not sure how successful it would be in changing the perception of families who are used to viewing domestic workers with suspicion... But I presume the purpose of the movie was to set the basis for a change of mind.

The next layer of characterisation was uniquely her own.

I suppose that maids are generally expected to yield, to be amiable and defer to the expectations of their employers.
Terry did that, but knew the line- and most importantly, voiced the difference for us in the audience.
She was here to work, because Jiale's parents hired her to. She didn't come to be bullied- and she sure as anything showed that she was not going to stand bullying by the kid.
Most importantly, when dealing with Jiale on this point, she was firm. Note that it wasn't begging. There wasn't any appeal for empathy when she faced off with Jiale. That may have given him the impression that he was in power.
The thing that amused me was that it wasn't even an appeal, logical or otherwise. They were statements, firm, resolute, simple.

She didn't ask to be liked. She didn't assume she should be liked. The priority was that she could fulfill her duty in a wholesome manner.

At this point, what Terry wasn't was important too.

She needed to wire more money back home- that didn't compel her to be a thief, touching others hard earned money.
She knew the truth- but never used it as a leverage. Not against Jiale, when he sabotaged her intentionally or unintentionally. Not against the master, even when she probably would be incriminated for her silence.
Her peace of mind or the security of her position was not bought from acts against others.

There was a scene in which I sighed. The scene whereby Terry touched the earrings, attempted to put it on, touched the makeup, and really did put it on...
I had expected that scene to be her undoing. But the point in the end appeared to be that she wasn't a thief.
And we could always look from her perspective that she was curious, or that she was also a human with dreams and material wishes.

Of course, what would have happened if her employer had decided to come down harsh on her actions, we can imagine.

The other thing I liked was how the characters grew.

Jiale grew, I hope, by the end of the movie.
The person who fought because he was irritated developed to someone who fought because he refused to let his classmate sully the name of his mother and Terry.
Certainly it couldn't be good to fight, since he hadn't control enough to limit the damage. He hadn't the calm of mind to dismiss those taunts- but well, that's why he was cast as a primary schooler I suppose. Teenagers or adults wouldn't be able to plead that excuse.
Of course, the other perspective would be that he was riled up because he had a fixed vision of those two women, and that the taunts were taking away his last illusions.

The highly irrational behaviour of newspaper cutting was revealed step by step for the audience to realise that Jiale was tracking a trend for 4D.
To the audience that knows better, it is clearly a futile effort. But that actually served a purpose.
First, it illustrated the devotion in which children may dedicate to a hobby or a field of study that interests them. Never mind that the adults find it a waste of time. To them, there's a meaning to it.
Secondly, it served as an illustration that sometimes, humankind cannot try to change fate. Jiale got away with using it to bribe the discipline master... It always gave Jiale the hold over him, for he "owed" Jiale. While this taught that there is value in listening to the observances of children sometimes, it had to be inevitably countered by Jiale losing.
In life, after all, you win some and you lose some.

It also suddenly occurred to me about the two women's reactions when facing the principal and discipline master varied.
The mother always apologised, and always told Jiale that 不要让她丢脸。
Terry on the other hand made an emotional appeal. Never mind that this country is pragmatic and should not make decisions based on that- that was the way she asked for a second chance. It is the way that would truly make people want to accept the apology, if I could say so myself. Here, we've overused "sorry", so much that we're almost immune.
And her arguments for Jiale staying really showed the value other people placed on education.

The irony of the mother typing out letters of dismissal for her boss, and her husband receiving his own letter of dismissal.

The clear improvement in interaction after Jiale got real chicks to rear instead of his handheld one.

... Details that were more insignificant at the time are starting to disappear from the front of my thoughts. I had after all watched it on Thursday evening. Two final things to reflect on, then.

I may be looking too deeply into it but: how the ending ended.
Do they call it a circular ending? It started with a family of three, continued with a family of four- Terry. It ended... With three again, and then four- an infant. Things are lost and gained. Things move on and change, even if we want to retain the status quo.

Jiale was using Terry's walkman in the final scene, and shared it with his father. No surprises that he was willing- his father understood.
Who would like to share their emotions with someone who wouldn't understand?

More ominously, earpieces are generally an indication of detachment. Isn't it interesting? Jiale feeling first hand the loss, feeling detached from the birth of his new sibling. His father is the observer of the loss- understanding, but not thus moved. His mother on the other hand... Was the most detached from the loss, embracing the new member of the family.

That family circle... In the end, is it five or four?

One criticism. The title of the movie was never explicitly referenced or explained. Any title should be understood at least by the end- how else would it be impactful?
Upon googling, it would reveal that that is somewhere in the Philippines, giving obvious tribute to Terry. That said, I really have no recollection that it was mentioned in the movie.