Monday, July 29, 2013 11:02 PM
It's all in my mind.
Last year, I had insisted not to have my birthday celebrated.
Last year I had, regardless, hoped- leaving one major exception...
28 July 2012 might be remembered as the day I felt I had everything, and also the day I started tangibly losing everything that made me myself.
This year, I willed it to be different.
This year, I would not hope- not one whit.
With no anticipation, there couldn't be disappointment.
With no hope, I wouldn't crash to earth.
Those who did not remember from last year would be welcome to let their memories fade- I wouldn't blame them. I won't remind them...
If it were me, I wouldn't remember 28 July either.
My person changed quite a lot in the course of a year.
My frame of mind, if not my emotions also-
Where I had been lacking in spirit, I'd restored willpower to put up a proper fight.
Where I had been lacking in confidence, I'd recovered it partly to patch up my image.
Where all was darkness around me, I'd at least started holding my own.
Poke me in the right spot, though, and I'd probably deflate once more. Until then, for everyone who has continued to shower me with care and concern,
I've left the living dead- I believe for real this time.
And every year, when I think I couldn't have been better cared for, it seems that I'm proven wrong.
Thank you, Si Min, Joanne, Huili, and particularly EnQi for the box of personalised notes and chocolates.
Thank you to Lucy, Kristine, Ken and Jiawen, for the memories and the letters- not forgetting Huili for compiling, Gloria and Zhang Ying for the useful penguin, Amanda for listening and the very apt gift, Kai Mei for the board and Angela for the thought. ^^
Thank you to Shou and Madeleine, with the handmade delights (只怕我不舍得吃……) And thank you to Freda for the cute bear and the moving letter.
♥ You and Shou both...
Not forgetting Pei Hua, Sylvia, Keng Seng, Jasmine, Siyao who messaged yesterday. ^^
Finally, Peiling for having handmade me a beautiful personalised notebook much, much earlier.
For the time, the thought, the kindness, the love, the simple act of remembering and caring... Thank you all.
♥ To have you all, I'm fortunate beyond belief.
打从心底里的感谢。
This post has to be terribly insufficient to properly return in kind the thought- but before I get down to replying letters, I hope this suffices. ^^