The void sucks me in.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 10:09 AM

It's all in my mind.

I finished "The Picture Of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde last night. Pretty pleased, because a particular somebody said that she would 佩服我 if i accomplished that. This one is the unabridged version, you see.

The problematic thing was with reading it. Sure, I could understand it alright, but I did not really like the contents of what I read. Several years back, I was reading the abridged version at a bookstore and liked the book immensely. The plot attracted me, somehow. I even recommended it to the above somebody, and it surprised me that she did not enjoy it. I didn't know why- still don't. Though this time, reading the unabridged version, I began to dislike the book in several ways. The plot is still fine- it is the characters that I dislike, and alongside them, the conversations held.

I disliked Basil Hallward, the artist of the above mentioned Picture. Although he idolized the subject of his art alot, the way it was presented seemed... wrong. Basil Hallward is a man. Dorian Gray is a man. Even though it's simply because Dorian Gray inspired his works or whatsits, the way Basil Hallward expressed it upon Dorian Gray's question seemed wrong. It was okay at the start, when Sir Henry was the audience, however.

Sir Henry is another character that I resent. This time, seriously. His advice to Dorian Gray is all wrong. Without looking the part, Sir Henry is a demonic character, whom I would point to as the source of Dorian Gray's wrongdoings. Let me just quote some of Oscar Wilde's work.

Lord Henry laughed. "I don't desire to change anything in England except the weather," he answered. "I am quite content with philosophic contemplation. But, as the nineteenth century has gone bankrupt through an overexpenditure of sympathy, I would suggest that we should appeal to science to put us straight. The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray, and the advantage of science is that it is not emotional."

"But we have such grave responsibilities," ventured Mrs. Vandeleur, timidly.

"Terribly grave," echoed Lady Agatha.

Lord Henry looked over at Mr. Erskine. "Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different."

blah blah blah, blah blah, then:

He thought for a moment. "Can you remember any great error that you committed in your early days, Duchess?" he asked, looking at her across the table.

"A great many, I fear," she cried.

"Then commit them over again," he said gravely. "To get back one's youth, one has merely to repeat one's follies."

Do you see that? This is merely part of Lord Henry's absurd view on life! He puts across crazy, yet logical SOUNDING speeches about women (terribly degrading), sins (to ask Dorian Gray to commit them) amongst others! He's crazy! He even said somewhere that the greatest sin was boredom! Mad guy!

During the majority of his speech, I felt this weird sensation- as if I was resisting the contents of the speech with all my might. Perhaps this is what Dorian Gray failed in, thus failed in life. And he did not realise it til his death. Amazingly crazy. But reading about it was better than Chapter 11, however. Too long, with no conversations, thoughts, whatsoever. I skipped a page without realising it, and with no particular impact on my understanding of his work.

Here is the summary of the story, in case you would feel like reading it.

An exquisitely beautiful young man in Victorian England retains his youthful and innocent appearance over the years while his portrait reflects both his age and evil soul as he persues a life of decadence and corruption.

That marks the end of this post.

P.S. I reflected that Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte is probably the base of what Stephenie Meyer wrote, in Twilight. Many ideas are reversed, or nearly the same. It is interesting that SM quoted Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights, and not her sister's Jane Eyre, then. Jane Eyre is a great read. So is Wuthering Heights. Really worth reading. =)

May we only do things that can withstand the scrutiny of the world.

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Tan Jing Yee
River Valley High School
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28 July

~ some quotes ~

♥ But I think... I want to live with all my memories. Even if they're bad memories. Even if they're memories that only hurt me... that I'd rather forget. If I keep them and keep trying, without running away, then someday I'll be strong enough that those memories can't defeat me. I believe that because I want to think that there's no such thing as a memory that's ok to forget.

♥ Pain, suffering. It's pointless to just think about those things. The traveler (referring to "The Most Foolish Traveler" by Natsuki Takaya) didn't. That may be stupid to some people but that's not stupid to me. Yuki... Kyo... when you close your eyes, what do you think?

♥ Just as no matter how hard you try to keep it away... despair will attack you again and again. In the same manner hope will return to you. Again and again.

♥ Someday... no matter how cold it is now... the snow will melt. Without fail.

♥ For there to be pain, there has to be kindness. For darkness to stand out, there has to be the sun.

♥ Maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe I have a long way to go. But someday... someday I'll be able to stand and walk on my own. Without hurting anyone... and without being a burden.

♥ We're all born with selfish desires so we can relate to those feelings in others. But kindness is created individually by each person... So it's easy to misunderstand when someone is trying to be kind to you... But, Tohru, people's differences are something to celebrate.

♥ "And if when everything ends, nothing is left in my hands...that's alright."

♥ Mingling with people, hurting them, getting hurt by them. That's how you learn about people and about yourself. If you don't, you'll never care about anyone but yourself.

♥ I want to be the only one... who can help the one I care about.

♥ "I wish I could have lived... In a kind world. Without anxiety. Without fear. Without hurting other people. Without being hurt myself. Only doing the right things. I wish I could have followed... The shortest path... To the kind world I wish for. I wish... I could have lived my life... Without making any wrong turns. But that is impossible. A path like that doesn't exist. We fail. We trip. We get lost. We make mistakes. And little by little, one step at a time... we push forward. It's all we can do. On our own two feet. Even if we get a little banged up. Someday, we'll reach something. We'll reach someone. We pray."

♥ "Crowds used to make me wonder. How many people would notice if I disappeared? I used to mull over that kind of thing constantly... once upon a time. But now... I'm a little different. It's not like that. It doesn't have to be... A lot of people. Even if it's just one person. That's enough. Having one person... is an incredible thing. Because then... It can't be zero. I was happy. I was happy then, too. I was so happy, it tickled. In the midst of all those people... She singled me out... and found me. And it's the same thing now. Having someone other than yourself... thinking of you. Looking... for you. You can't take that for granted. It's a miraculous and blessed thing."

♥ "... please don't cry anymore. I know that happy things... and fun things.. eventually come to an end. But things that are scary and sad... come to an end too. They always do. Even if you can't always believe that... please don't give up. Live. I want you to live. Even if you make a mistake, even if you take the long way, it's still okay... Just please... please live. Don't give up on pushing forward. Please. At least don't give up on that. Even if I'm not... by your side."

♥ Often times in memory, we have the tendency to overly romanticize the people we care about.

♥ Humans may be fragile creatures, but they're not weak to the extent to being crushed by their painful memories even after they meet with something unfortunate. We're far more resilient that that. Everything will be alright.

♥ "Don't worry, Kanade. What a person has actually gone through is unexpectedly different from what he remembers. Even though that gap may leave him feeling sad sometimes... Even the most vivdly clear memory... will change with time eventually."

♥ "Humans are amazing. Even though they may not see something physically... They'll still sense it. Everything else is the same. If you work hard, others will know that you work hard. If you don't work hard, others will know that you don't work hard."

♥ "Someday... You'll find someone who'll know all your good and bad points... And who'll still love you all the same."

♥ If... There was ever a Land of the Blindfolded, will the people of that land... Understand what it's like to have your blindfold come undone? Even if... Most people will never understand us... There might just be... Someone who can do that. It isn't easy to understand people's feelings... But that doesn't mean... That you're alone.

♥ It is not violence that best overcomes hate — nor vengeance that most certainly heals injury.

♥ The real courage is living and suffering for what you believe.

♥ “If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”

♥ Do not pity the dead, Harry, pity the living. Above all pity those who live without love.

♥ 每一段记忆，都有一个密码。只要时间，地点，人物组合正确，无论尘封多久，那人那景都将在遗忘中重新拾起。你也许会说“不是都过去了吗？”其实过去的只是时间，你依然逃不出，想起了就微笑或悲伤的宿命，那种宿命本叫“无能为力”。

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